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[Nov. 26th, 2011|08:24 pm] |
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It scares me cos' I actually really love you. |
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[Nov. 23rd, 2011|03:20 pm] |
Been a very angsty kid. Still am
Maybe the problem is me. Lol
Whtvvvvvv.
If you're my friend just STFU about dragonboat already. Stop pissing me off.
What i love might not be what you love but RESPECT it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 22nd, 2011|12:08 am] |
i get triggered so easily these few days it actually scares me |
Fucking hate how people affect me so easily.
Gotta learn to be strong.
GOTTA LEARN TO STOP LISTENING TO THE FUCKING THINGS THAT EVERYONE SAYS AND MAKE UP MY OWN MIND
OK. SHUT UP IF YOU WANNA TELL ME I'M MAKING THE WRONG DECISIONS.
RIGHT OR WRONG FROM NOW ON I'LL TELL THEM APART MYSELF.
WRONG TO YOU DOESN'T MEAN IT'S WRONG TO ME . OK? OK. |
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[Oct. 21st, 2011|05:09 am] |
I think I just enjoy fucking myself up.
It just hurts so bad and I don't know how to deal with all these shit
So I turn to all the shit I've learn to do cos' It makes me better
Been running and running and running and it seems like I will never be free. |
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[Oct. 18th, 2011|12:54 am] |
i don't talk to anyone about what goes on anymore or how i'm feeling anymore cos' i just don't want to or i just can't
now, everyone can start by calling me superficial, hypocritical, fake or whatever. i don't really care anymore.
i wanna turn into a stone or be a rock.
so you can hit me, punch me, slap me, kick me or hurt me but i won't move not even a single bit cos' i can't feel a thing. now wouldn't that be good?
we are too complicated.we think too much, see too much, know too much
i should never have been made to go through what i went through in the kind of environment i was in.
I was happy. I used to be happy.
and now, i will never be who i was before. i can't
i train, i shop, i eat, i go out, i have fun, i smile, i laugh, i make stupid jokes & people laugh, but i have nothing
for what i can never let go of will always be here to hold me back
watched wsp. brought tears to my eyes.
Bold girl with admirable courage. i can never do what she did. She was truthful. She came clean.
I never will. people judge, they condemn, they never forgive
and i don't wanna hurt anyone. i don't wanna do any damage.
everyone's happy now, i don't wanna do anything that might change the way things are. i'm afraid of changes. if it kills me just to see the people i love be happy, i rather die inside everyday.
how did i get from happykid to emoshitkid? haha that's how life gets you, that's how life plays you, that's how life drains you.
and you deal with it, in your own ways.
even if you don't know how, you suck it in and pretend to cos at the end of the day, only you really know. |
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